The new logo, you can see it to the left of this post, represents my personality much more than a vectorized scribble ever could. Here’s the break down:

It’s a symbol of my work. Those of you that know me for my work with Bright Black know that in every logo I design I try to keep clean lines. I wanted to bring this methodology to my own logo.

It’s a symbol of my faith (sort of). Up until a couple years ago I considered myself to be Wiccan. While that specific religion, in fact no religion, feels right to me anymore, I still identify with many of the Pagan practices. The pagans use a five-pointed star, or pentagram, as their symbol of faith much like the Christians use a crucifix.

It’s a symbol of my attitude. I pride myself on my ability to shatter stereotypes. I can be an asshole but I’m really a sweet guy This logo has the sharpness of heavy metal and the elegance of an opera singer.

Overall, I think my new logo represents me very well. I personally love it, which I guess is a good thing seeing as it’s mine.

I am a graphic designer. I have observed a few things in the past weeks and it really bugs me.Maybe I have just been oblivious to it for so long but I had no idea that there was such a specific graphic designer stereotype. There is. Here is a list of reasons I don’t fit it.

• I don’t use a Mac. I use a custom built machine running Windows. While it needs a video card upgrade it serves me well.
• I don’t wear black-rimmed glasses. In fact, I don’t wear any glasses.
• I don’t listen to bands that no one has ever heard of. I listen to a variety of bands but some are quite mainstream.
• The fact that I do 90% of my job on a computer does NOT mean I will will fix yours. Sure I am happy to help friends and family when I can but, seriously, stop asking tech support questions.
• I do not shop at the discount clothing store just so I can look retro and trendy. If ever I shop at a discount store it’s because I’m broke.
• I don’t wear black just to look all “designerly”… damn it… I DO wear A LOT of black… but it’s not to look designerly. It’s because I like black and I’m fat. Black is slimming ya know.
• I don’t run on fuel from Starbucks or the next trendy coffee shop. Really I rarely drink coffee. Crazy but true.

That being said, if any or all of these apply to you then congratulations. It’s not to say you are lame or a bad designer. You just fit what society has already planned out for you. I know several designers that indeed do fit many of these items and they are killer artists, awesome business owners and really cool people. Next time someone tells you what they do for a living pay attention. Don’t assume anything.

I know this post is an open invite for people to bitch and moan about how they are unique (like everyone else) and that’s fine. That’s what the comment section is for.

Now that we have that cleared up let’s discuss these “disabled” people. First off, being fat is not a disability. You are not disabled when you have to ability to change it. I know there are people, none of which read this blog, that have legitimate health reasons for using the chairs AND happen to be fat. But health reasons as a result of being fat should not warrant you taking up the entire aisle in your “I’m too lazy to walk around in the grocery store which is why I CAN’T walk around in the grocery store anymore” scooter. These people piss me off because not only do they generally encompass the entire aisle, not because of their size mind you, because they drive down the middle leaving no room for your shopping cart to squeeze by.

It pisses me off when someone who has made bad choices in their life expects it to affect everyone else. I have been fat most of my life. I have never, not once, asked anyone to make special concessions for me because of it. You can even ask my girlfriend, who is in fact Wonder Woman, and she SHOULD tell you that even after my stroke there are very few things I ask her to do for me. The stroke was my fault. I don’t want pity, just understanding. That’s a whole ‘nother topic.

Bottom line is this: being fat is not a disability. Point blank and period.

*and I realize the title of this post has very little to do with the content but it made me giggle when I typed it.

“And the effects are that exposure to violent video games increases the likelihood of aggressive behavior in both short-term and long-term contexts. Such exposure also increases aggressive thinking and aggressive affect, and decreases prosocial behavior.”

This is a direct quote from the article. I don’t know if its true or not but I am calling bullshit on this. I grew up and, many of you won’t believe this, but I didn’t really start playing so-called violent video games or watching violent movies until I was over 18. I am anti-social as hell. Games had nothing to do with it.

Also take a look at the serial killers of yore. Jack the Ripper, Manson, Berkowitz… you think they were PC gamers or console fans? There is no evidence that any of your “major” serial killers had anything to do with video games. No, generally speaking it whiny little emo bitches or fat motherfuckers with self esteem lower than the current real estate market that are shooting up schools now days.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I still say the leading cause is BAD PARENTING. We don’t TEACH our kids about right and wrong or instill morals and ethics anymore. We don’t teach them the difference between real life and a video game. As a society, we don’t bother teaching our kids anymore. We expect institutions like school’s or local police departments to handle our kids when they get out of line.

The other cause is, perhaps, because your kid is just fucked in the head but I have voiced my opinion on that already.

Look, all I’m saying is this: as parents, govern what your kids are allowed to play/see and teach them the difference between the real world and fantasy. A little effort on your part really makes a world of difference down the road. Use common sense and if you have none, give your kid up for adoption because you don’t deserve the amazing joy and responsibility of being a parent.

October 11 I had a stroke. I was leaving the local grocery store and I became very dizzy, vomited, etc… it was a stroke. I was rushed to the ER by ambulance, I was air lifted to Orlando the next day in order to prep me for surgery. It seems I had a blood clot in my brain and they were goin’ in.

I spent about 2 weeks in the most depressing looking hospital ever. You know those zombie movies where the hospital is all dilapidated and stuff and you expect a face-chewer to burst in your door any second? Yeah, that’s where I was. For two weeks. October 24 I got to come home.

I have been home now for less than 2 months. If you were paying attention, you would know that Christmas Eve marks 2 weeks since I was discharged. Since my homecoming it has been frustrating to say the least. I spent the first month not able to do very much at all but I have my Wonder Woman of a girlfriend to help me out and I do my best to let her know I love her for it. My son Corey is 5 months now and he puts a smile on my face. In the past 3 weeks or so I have really been improving exponentially and I am back to driving  again. Shh, don’t tell any one, my doctor hasn’t cleared me yet.

According to everyone around me, the major issue now is not whether I can read, or walk or shower by myself but it’s my attitude and likeliness that I will say something to piss someone off. As most of you who spend any amount of time around me lately have realized, I seem like a different person. I went from being a relatively happy guy pre-stroke to sounding like a miserable son of a bitch since. It has been *ahem* suggested that I ask the doctor for antidepressants and I certainly will talk to him to fins out what he thinks is happening. Here are a couple possibilities I have come up with.

First, maybe the stroke caused some chemical imbalance and that has thrown everything off. I have become a statistic just like most people who suffer a stroke and now have sever depression disorder.

Second, maybe the damage to my brain was more significant than the doctors realized leaving me as an evil genius (I have become pretty good at Jeopardy) and put me in a state of perpetual misery and constantly plotting my revenge on Ronald McDonald, Wendy and the King.

Third and my personal pick, I JUST HAD A STROKE and it will take some time for me to get back to everyone else’s sense of what normalcy is. Perhaps I have always bitched about stupid people. the government and anything else that bugs me but I became so good at hiding it so I didn’t upset anyone that it became invisible. Now, it seems that my ability to keep my pessimistic thoughts in my head has been damaged and it will take some time for me to learn to hide it for the sake of everyone else again.

Either way, I am speaking to my doctor about it on Monday and we will go from there.

As you may be able to tell from this shot, I love me some World of Warcraft.

I received the Wacom Intuos 3 with my commission for landing my former employer a $40K job. I love my Copperhead mouse.

I try to keep my client paperwork to a minimum but I have found over the years to cover my ass with a hard copy of all contracts, change logs and approved proofs. I also keep a small stack of various magazines on tattoos, music, art, Photoshop User, etc around for inspiration.

More magazines and stuff. I really love my back issues of ImagineFX. I just wish I had a current subscription. Christmas gift idea *hint* *hint*. I also have a few business and drawing books and my WoW game boxes.

I have a slightly unnatural love of Sharpies. I have lots.

I have quite a few books on quite a few topics. This is just a smattering of them. I also like to keep my brother and sisters close.

Assuming I have no other options, how inappropriate is it to take my son to meetings?

Keep in mind I don’t deal with many large, stuffy CEOs. Mostly local, mom and pop, small businesses at the moment. We can’t currently afford daycare. No available grandparents nearby either.

I am looking for some advice and ideas on how to handle this situation. Thank you!

The Drive-Thru Asshole: I don’t eat fast food anymore but I do go through the drive-thru on occasion for Chrissy. I am amazed at the quatity of assholes I come into contact with. I realize slinging burgers, or in today’s case tacos, may not be where you saw yourself now that your 25 but don’t take that shit out on me. I worked a drive-thru once. I wasn’t an asshole. It’s a job and if you can’t be at your job without being an asshole then it’s time to either find a new one.

The Traffic Asshole: This asshole doesn’t look where he is going, doesn’t use turn signals or abide by traffic control devices like stop lights all while doing 10 mph under the speed limit. When he almost causes an accident, and he will, two of them today, he acts like YOU are in the wrong. What an asshole.

The Immature Asshole: This asshole’s assholiness can be chalked up to age sometimes but more often than not it is someone pushing 30. This asshole is as selfish and conceded as ot gets. He usually fronts to make himself look hardcore in front of his friends but then cries himself to sleep at night. So I guess that would just make him a sad asshole.

BTW if you are one that likes counting games, I said some variation of “asshole” 16 times. Since you made it through this post, or just scrolled to the bottom, I will reward you with a scene from the funniest sci-fi comedies ever. Enjoy.

Welcome back. I couldn’t care less if a teenager wants to get down all Jackass style but what gets me is the mother. She blames You Tube, at least in part, for her sons injuries. Really? It couldn’t be that parents just basically suck nowadays right? It couldn’t be that parents aren’t involved in thier kid’s lives much less teaching them basic common sense like dont set yourself on fire, it hurts. It has to be the media in some form. I suppose I’m not surprised. I mean it has been that way for years. Your kid shoots up his school? It’s the heavy metal that’s to blame. Your kid jacks a car? Ban the video games! Your kid’s just a degenerate fuck-up in general? Must be the violent movies causing that.

It’s not always bad parenting though that causes kids to go off course. Sometimes there are just a few screws loose and parent shouldn’t beat themselves up for it. I realize that it’s easier to blame the music, movies, video games and now, You Tube for your kid’s retarded behavior but sometimes we all need to accept reality that it’s possible your kid is just stupid.

BTW, here is the video that inspired the kid to flick his Bic. If after watching you are moved to dowse yourself in gasoline and go all Human Torch then please do it quietly.

8/13/09 The video was taken down by You Tube today due to violation of something… I don’t know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_R

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Take me for example. From an early age I was attracted to the color black. In fact I can remember getting a blue sweat shirt and sweat pants for Christmas or a birthday when I was only 3 or 4 and insisting that I get black ones instead. Way back then I preferred black to most other colors. By the time I was a teenager I was listening to Metallica and other heavy metal. As I got older, my interest in horror movies and darker varieties of sci-fi got more intense. My parents never really promoted the heavy music or horror flicks with a few exceptions from my dad.

I had a 9th grade history project in which I was to create a fictional civilization. I developed a vampyric group of people. It turned out to cost me the rest of my childhood in some ways. Would I have done it had I not seen the movie Blade only days before? I don’t know. I do know I would have done something similar at some point. I thought vampires were extremely interesting. I would have found a creative outlet for my interest eventually. My interests continued to evolve and I began listening to considerably heavier music and intensely horrific movies that incited creativity instead of fear. Black clothes still make up 90% of my wardrobe, I rock Slipknot or Marilyn Manson when I have creators block and I find most horror films more humorous than frighting. Now at this point I should really mention that I’m not a violent or angry person. I like to think I am very compassionate and empathetic. I love animals and I even used to work with the developmentally disabled. I’m a good person.

I live a normal enough life. I work as a graphic designer, I live with my girlfriend and I am going to be a father in just a few months. To friends and colleagues I am just the funny designer guy. But I have a darker side as well and that is what I am trying to understand. I am OK with it but I want to understand what made me this way. Is it bad wiring? Was I traumatized at an early age and don’t remember? I don’t think that’s it. I love my parents and they love me and I am certain they never did anything to hurt me. In fact they were quite protective and tried to teach me to lead an honest life, which I have managed to do for the most part. I thank them for the lessons I was taught.

I’m not going to become a serial killer or start sacrificing animals. It is just my curiosity of the human mind that makes me wonder. What makes us tick? What makes a 3 year old insist on wearing black? What makes a teenager cause so much trouble just for the sake of dark creativity? What makes a grown man think up terrifying monsters and call it art? I don’t know but one thing I do know is that despite the problems my brain has caused me in the past, I am proud of who I am.

If you are interested in some of the art I have done please visit http://www.syntheticsuicide.deviantart.com